Terrible Terrible Two times Two

Let me just start off with a recap of my day yesterday. First go to work to prepare for summer school. I only needed 2 hours so I brought along my sister who was to occupy Blake. That worked quite well until it was time to leave....he did NOT want to leave. So I had to fight to get him leave. Finally we finish that tantrum and then its on the way home....but I did tell Madison that we would go bowling. We get back into town at about 12...her and I can bowl 2 games fairly quickly. Blake was to eat lunch and take his nap at 1-1:15ish. So we went to the bowling alley and I got Blake lunch there since I knew if I waited till we got back his nap would have been off and I needed him up by 3:30 to take Madison to gymnastics class at 4:15Pm!!! So for most of bowling was fine Madison and I would take turns feeding him and setting with him at the table. The last few couple of frames he wanted to run around like a crazy a person which was a little to much for me.....yet again another tantrum. Alright, we get home and he gets his nap....yay and about on time too! So I clean up a bit and get lunch and then I wake him up at about 3:20 which I must say he was almost awake anyway, I fix him a snack. So we get in the car and take Mad to gym. Then while I am there I want to register him for the mom and tot class because we need something to do!! Anyways, he is running around like a crazy person again! Needless to say another tantrum!!! So finally we leave but I can't go home yet because I need to meet a lady for a cheap baby monitor that I need for the beach. So since Maggie Moo's is close we go for ice cream....oh and it was soooo good. Then we walk down to the party store to look for some things for his Elmo party coming up in August and just to kill time. That goes fine and then we leave for the car and lo and behold another tantrum!!! That makes number 4!!! By this point I have more than had enough! So I finnaly meet the lady at 5:45 and head home...... We get home and he continues to act the way he has all day....so finally I say to H. I am off the clock and you are on! But he says he has work to do and doesn't have time. What's new!There was another tantrum before going outside while waiting on our blackberries and this is when he hit me again and that's when I apprently hit him back in the face...though I say it was just a push in his face since he was standing on the couch...all these tantrums are just start to run together! So that's number 5! Dinner goes okay and Grandpa brings us blackberries and then we go outside for some play time with bubbles. Then when we do come back in we clean up and get ready for bed.... brushing the teeth is yet another battle but after the constant battle all day I just want to brush his teeth and put him to bed. I make sure I get the bottom fronts every night and eventually he won't put up such a big fight....that's how it went with wiping his face after eating....at first he couldn't stand it and now its not bad at all. Brushing his teeth was going okay when he does it becuase he doesn't really do it....so I start to help and its fine UNTIL I get those bottom fronts. He screams like someone is killing him and then I have to hold him down to simply brush his teeth. I make a point to make sure I am not brushing to hard. So I've about had it, so I yell at him, he throws one toothbrush and then I throw the other one and then I sit him down rather forcefully onto his feet on the floor. He is screaming bloody murder and the H is just sitting downstairs "working" So finally I put Blake into his bed and toss his pacifer in with him.....this is when H finally come up from downstairs saying that's no way to treat him, blah, blah, blah. And there was something about being mother of the year award and the real kicker was that I shouldn't be so short tempered with him!!! Oh my fucking goodness!!!! Are you fucking kidding me????? Really! You want to say this to me who has put up with this ALLLL DAY!!! And after I even asked you to help!!! However the H didn't know I asked because apparently I say that all the time. I know I have said jokingly but I really don't think I say that enough for it not to mean anything. Plus why should I have to ask for help....can he not figure out even after telling him that he has been that way all the day and even after I was already short tempered with him and "hit" him. Is H a fucking moron??? Finally that evening, I was already upset over the days events and the comments made to me. I don't feel like I do anything right. I don't clean right, I don't watch Blake right, I don't parent right, I don't fold clothes right, I don't vaccumm right, I really apparently don't do anything right....so I'm not sure why I'm still here and why H is still here. I'm a terrible person who doesn't do anything right. I did have a short temper but I asked for help and I didn't get it. I did preceed to tell H that he does nothing for Blake only when he absolutely has to when I am not here....but I say most of the time he will get his mother to watch him which was the case when I went out of town in April to a friend's baby shower. He kept B one night and sent B to stay with his mom the next night so he could go out. Really, its not like I'm not home that much or really go anywhere without B. He really doesn't do anything for B unless it is forced. He did take B to the store with him about a weeke ago and I almost fell over dead! Why can't he do more things like that? He also took him to school one of those days last week as well. I really thought he was coming around. Clearly I was mistaken. So the jist of that was I can't parent and H doesn't ever help....which I've been saying since he was born! So I"m terrible and can't do anything right and he says well apparently I'm terrible too since I don't do anything with B. Not to mention whenever I try to not fight and have a discussion I'm the one who is always wrong and he is the one that always gets defensive and makes into something that is totally frustration and hatrd. I need a therapist. Any one know of someone? Side bar- Another thing about this specfic issue a few sunday's ago my family were going bowling and B was napping. They suggested that I come without him and H could be there since he doesn't come with us anyway. Oh great idea and I would be back at about the same time he got up! So I quickly get ready ran upstairs and say I'm going bowling and I'll be back shortly.....you would have thought I asked for a million dollars!!!! He meanly answered back that he has to watch the race and wash clothes and that this was his time to not do anything! Lessons Learned: Don't try to do so much in one day with a terrible two toddler. When needing help, say a clear and consice statment- don't ask...tell!. Say something like this... I am serious when I say that I have had enough of him today and you need to take care of him and leave the house! PS: Life stinks with a terrible two toddler and a terrible two H...its going to be a long summer!

Alphabet Songs

I found Alphabet Songs and Alphabet Videos by Have Fun Teaching through another First grade blog that I follow and since I get to stay in first grade again next year, I thought these would be a great review at the beginning of the year for my students. This will also give them a movement break to get out their wiggles! What a great set of videos to have! Take a look for yourself!

I'm Back!

I started this blog, well last summer and I didn't realize that its almost been a year since I posted anything else! Having an almost 2 year old is making things just a little difficult! Not to mention that before to long we might start trying to add a little brother of sister to the mix! Where would I ever find the time to do anything! I guess that's what summers are for except this summer I decided to teach summer school.....GASP! don't worry its only for 10 days and those are half days none the less. I really want to get my car paid off so that when the second baby comes along we won't have a SUPER tight budget. That was going to be possible before DH went and bought a new car....he did get a good deal but I really wanted my paid for by this time next year. So the next little one may have to wait for 2 more years. But if I can do a little here and there and so can he then it may just work out. Though, I will need a 9 month notice! Lesson Learned: Don't let husband go alone to a car lot!

Marriage Lesson- Withdrawls

Alright! I'm going to start my post with a marriage lesson or the lack thereof a lesson. Maybe some readers can help me! The title is withdrawls...let me explain. I can't remember exactly where this topic came from: it was either our premarriage counseling or from a book I read that was reccommended from this counseling. All it talked about was each of us has a bank and our spouse can deposit into our love bank by doing nice things, etc or they can withdrawl from our love banks. We all need to be aware of when we are depositing and when we withdrawl from our spouse's love banks. To many withdrawls can lead to fights, affairs, divorce, etc.

Lately, I've had a few withdrawls from my love bank which I want to keep a record of so when the day comes I'll be ready. You must be thinking why doesn't she talk to her spouse now? Good question but somehow everything gets turned back on me and it being my fault. He seems to have a way with that I've noticed since we've been married. Once the counselor can mediate it will be a little easier for me to communicate without things being turned around.

My overall general complaint began once husband went back to work after our son was born. He got 3 weeks off when the baby was born and he was so much help then. Cooking dinner, washing clothes, feeding the dogs, watching the baby while I napped a few times. He did get up a few time in the middle of the night but I always had to get up to feed him though. So he goes back to work and I get up with him since I have a few more weeks off before I go back to work. Understandable! When I go back to work I am still the only person getting up with him.....now he is on formula and a bottle so there was no excuse for him not to be getting up and till this day if he wakes up I'm the one who checks on him (I can think of 2 times where he got up) Now on to diapers...the beginning great changed diapers after going back to work not so much and by 4 months hardly ever and now sitting here on July 30th then last time he changed his diaper was while we were at the beach June 18-25th. I only remember it becuase it had been so long before that and his dad mentioned that it must be a miracle. He says its my job! Also he never gets left with him if I go anywhere because he doesn't have time to deal with him so I just take him with me. Also if I did leave him, he would just call his mother to watch him. Oh yea not to forget his mother watches our son since we both work and the husband most days gets off about 3pm, but when does the baby get dropped off....not till I get home or very close to the time I'm getting home. Last thing, he doesn't spend more than a few minutes with him on his days off or after work. He will play with him a little then give him right back to me. I don't know what happened and why I am responsible for our son completely! However, if we are out in public or at my parents house or his sometimes he will play with the baby and try to be all helpful....but its all show.....he doesn't do shit at home.
I will give husband a kudos because he still fixes dinner most of the time when he is home.

Oh and the only time he is helpful  when we aren't in public  is when he wasnts something. Thursday I was getting baby ready for bed  like I do EVERY night and hubby fixes the bottle without me even asking....which I stopped asking months ago....and of course he has to say where is my thank you. Its more like its about damn time you did something.... I gave baby the bottle and hubby got his room all ready turned on the nigh light, music, humidifer, etc so all I had to do was lay him in bed. I knew something was up and of course it was....he wanted to mash potatoes, alone time, adult fun, if you can catch my drift. So if I start putting out more would he be more helpful?

One last general complaint: its about the thank yous...he's always doing random stuff like taking out the garbage and he always asks where's my thank you. What the hell? Those are daily or simple tasks that someone needs to do. So I started asking where's my thank you for feeding the baby, where's my thank you for feeding the dogs, where's my thank you for If we thanked each other for everything little thing...that's the only thing we would be doing!!!!

Now to the specifics since the general complaints are out of the way:

July 2011- He made a stack of clothes that he was giving to the goodwill. He asked me to make a list of what he had so we would have it for tax purposes. So I count write out a list and then sit in our room and watch tv for a minute. Then he preceeds to count everything again while I'm sitting right there!!! Why did you ask me to do that if you were going to do it yourself???? I was sooo pissed! I felt like I was being treated like a child. If you thought I didn't count correctly, couldn't you have said, wait I think I put 4 pair of shorts there not 3 or you could have waited until I wasn't in the room.

July 29th- We took my son to the dr. to make sure he didn't have an ear infection because he has been pulling at his ears ALOT and pushing his head against the floor...which are all signs of teething too! The thing that worried me though was he had a runny nose last week and ear infections usually come after colds so since his one year appt on the 12th got moved to the 24th I went and made an appointment just to be sure. While in the waiting room he wouldn't let him walk around and wanted him to be super quiet! What the hell he is a 1 year old and its a peds office! Its fine to make noise and walk around a little for pete's sake! So he is making him sit on his lap so I get out one of his books and read to him, but apparently I was reading to loud. Finally he gives him to me since he tired of dealing with him...its only been like 5 minutes...typical. So I let him walk around a little. He says don't let him touch anything. Again its not busy we are like the last appt that day there's only a few people waiting, its a kids office.

July 30th- It started to rain and the dogs haven't been out in awhile. So I let them out by the side door. I have the door open so I can yell at the dogs to go quickly and I'm trying to keep my eye on the baby whose eating his snack. He comes down the hallway what are you doing? In a rude tone. You don't need to be yelling. So yet again sticks his nose where it doesn't belong. Mind you it was raining and no other neighbors were out and I yell at the dogs all the time. I don't believe they can hear me in their homes.
Same day: I sit the baby in his highchair and the cover slips. In a rude tone hubby: why does that not stay? In a rude tone back: b/c I don't have it on all the way since I take it off and wash it quite frequently. He then says well you don't need to get an attitude about it and I said I was just answering the question the same way it was asked.

So, I've started my list....longer list than I thought! He needs to follow my blog and maybe learn a thing or two. Lesson learned here: having a baby really does change everything.

My Story

I'm Renee and I grew up in a small town in which I still live today. I married my high school sweetheart in 2006, got a teaching job and bought a house in 2008 (yeah I know right before the housing market downturn!), and then brought a beautiful baby boy into the world in 2010. But let me clarify that it was not easy getting pregnant. We started trying in September 2008 on our own and month after month nothing. Finally in April 2009 we finally got a positive test! We were so excitied we told just about everyone.....first mistake. Then in May we go for our first appointment and BAM.....no baby this time. What devastation this was for us and not to mention everyone we already told! I was mortified! However, the darling husband did a great job of telling most everyone so I wouldn't have to deal with that awkward situation. So we take a few months off before we try again.

Now its September 2009 and we are ready to try again. For the past three months my cycle has been normal and about the same each month. Then of course when we are ready to try....my cycle goes all haywire. So I finally break down and call the nurse at the OBGYN. So she talks to my doctor and prescribe Clomid and  very basic fertifily drug to help me ovulate...thank heavens something to help considering it had already been a year and a miscarriage

September- Nothing and no ovulation with medicine. October- higher dosage, ovualation had occured still nothing. November- same dosage, ovulation occured and finally another positive test! Finally a year and 3 months later a possible baby! We didn't tell anyone until very close to our first appointment and then it was only parents. Then Dec. 30th was the day- yes or no! I was a nervous wreck that whole dayI had no idea what I would do this time if things didn't work out again. Would Dh and I have to start that long road of infertility?? What happened to missing 1 pill and getting pregnant? However, finally it was a yes! But we weren't out of the woods yet. The first 12 weeks of pregnancy can be make it or break it time and thank god we made it!

My son has been a true blessing and I thank god for him every single day. He has also taught me so much already and he is the reason I wanted to start this blog. I wanted to document the lessons I've learned from being a mom, so that the second time around will be a piece of cake...hahaha!